Soap is not a condiment
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
