Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
