Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
