After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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