I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
