watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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