just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
