If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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