maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
