Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
