i jhust puked up my retainher.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
