We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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