He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize