It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
