false alarm. still invincible.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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