Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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