I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
