just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I will be naked everywhere
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
