you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
