Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We don't watch enough power rangers
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
