Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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