he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
