Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
