Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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