I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize