Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
