I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
