You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
