I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
