You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I puked a lego.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
