I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
