dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
