break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
