You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
