guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
