you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
