What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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