My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
