Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize