Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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