I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
