i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
