your room smells of hookers.
And success
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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