I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
