forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
