is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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