From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
