How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
