I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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