she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
