I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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