The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize