i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
