i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
