I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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