You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
