I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
